Rise and Shout

Rise and Shout, Jessica is out,
of her undergraduate career.
She can't believe it's come to an end,
Has it really been six years?

No, six years does not mean I'm stupid,
It merely means that I'm slow.
I was off doing who knows what for 18 months,
Eating cow stomach and blood. Soooooo....

But the time finally came,
After years of stress, grief and strife.
To say goodbye to Cosmo,
And begin a future, oh so bright (I need shadesssssssssss).


As I burst out of the testing center,
the darkness that had enshrouded me for so long,
(The hives, the tears, the bagels, and the swears),
evaporated like milk, making me want to sing this song:

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Dam* right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"

If my mom were to ask about the song,
I'd simply provide her this interpretation:
"I have gained all of this secular wisdom,
And now I can tutor others" - EXCLAMATION!

The world will be a better place,
Because BYU taught me to shake.
I shook off that stupid B in New Testament,
And I shook my head when SPSS would break.

I shook it at the stake dance,
But then shook my fist when he got too close.
I shook my foot after walking up all those stairs,
And I shook my head at the sleepers in the bathroom -- Gross.

I can still see the images of sweaters, lipstick, Habermaus, and Robbie,
They will forever be ingrained in my heart.
And let's not forget graduation day itself,
When B, from three seats over, let a huge -- she's so smart!

I will miss BYU and the bubble it gave me.
I will miss the L&T wraps.
I will the editorials in the Daily Universe,
I will even miss Cecil - such a fine chap!

I will miss many lives lost in the Soc Lab,
I will miss many explosions from the vending machine hot pocket.
I will miss lighting creamer on fire,
And watching oil explode like a rocket (in my kitchen).

I will miss walking to class in the rain,
The wind always blowing at an angle.
I will miss meeting new and interesting people,
Many of whom I wanted to strangle.

I will miss the protests of three people,
I will miss the mullets trying to be cool.
I will miss the tights that are like pants,
I will miss a place where dating rules.

I will miss ward prayer and break the fast,
I will miss intermural sports.
I will miss testimony meetings where people line up,
I will miss when activities are planned to "court."

I will miss my roommates, whom I love so much.
I will miss our bad words and jokes.
I will miss our prayers of laughter and poop.
I will miss the random pinches and pokes.

I will miss everyone whom I've ever met,
Including the weird and the strange.
Life at BYU was never dull!
And no, it shall never be the same.

Boston boasts a grand repertoire
Of things to do and people to see.
But I could go on for days on end.
But I won't, for I have to pee.

So long BYU, may you rise and shout,
Always a standard to the nations.
When Jimmer gets drafted to the Utah Jazz,
I'll remember my college convocation.

Amen and halleluluha,
May all your dreams come true.
And may you always have a spot in your heart,
For WHITE, SILVER, GOLD and BLUE.