My Thoughts Exactly

These are the things that have been on my mind lately. I know you've been dying to know:

1. Gosh, I sure appreciate that the bathroom stall doors on the sixth floor of library swing OUT inside of IN. That way I can make a quick escape from the germ-infested spray of the toilet.

2. Janet and I decided that guys always wait until after they have eaten our food before breaking up with girls. At least, that's what happened to us.

3. I heart hiking. I would marry it if it were a tall, dark and handsome hunk of a man.

4. Why do I keep having dreams about being in the military?

5. Wal-Mart is so much cheaper than Smith's that it blows my mind. I bought garden burgers for $3! Why would you go to Smith's, anyway, when they literally shoot and kill people there?

6. Whos Acura is parked in our parking lot with Oregon plates? He will soon find a friend in White Lightening.

7. My bishop claims that the UN needs to be done away with. Does it really?

8. Why is Dr. House being such a jerk? I need to finish the fifth season so that my roommates can talk about it in front of me. It's kind of inconvenient for them.

9. I ate El Salvadorian food -- all fried -- but it didn't hurt my stomach. What does this say about American food?

10. I like Miracle Whip...kind of a lot. Why?