(Almost) Mugging by Mustard

Buenas noches! We just got into our hostel after another long day -- this time spent in the city, instead of in airports. It is a much better alternative. Our feet have walked miles and miles (and smell -- but whatś new?) and some jazz music is playing out on the hostel terrace. Its a gorgeous night -- not too warm, not too cold -- and the moon looks mighty grande! We think we will go check out the terrace after email, but there may be some partying going on up there, and while we are always looking for a good time, we left our REALLY wild ways in Cabo some spring breaks ago. But anyway, before you start asking questions about THAT, I will fill you in on our vida (life) here in the city of Good Air.

First, yesterday after we blogged, we took on the city. Every Sunday the neighborhood of San Telmo does a big flea market. And when I say big, I mean it goes for miles on one single, cobble-stoned street in the oldest area in Buenos Aires. Vendors and tourists for as far as the eye can see. So we did some browsing and ultimately found a place to eat, which I had researched on the Internet beforehand. Since the airport disappointments and now since this restaurant, so fantastically recommended, was a flop, we have tossed that paper to its doom. We had milanesa (breaded fried meat) and it just wasnt too amazing. But we were hungry, so I guess it could have been worse. After dinner we decided to go to the train/bus station to buy our tickets for Iguazu. Retiro is HUGE with trains going all over the place plus buses going even more places. Think: Grand Central Station but tango-style. We successfully purchased our bus tickets middle class (not first class, not economy class), meaning the seats will recline to 160 degrees and they will feed us a hot and a cold meal (and all the whisky and scotch and wine we could ask for. That was the deal clincher there). We will be sitting on the top part of the bus at the very front with big windows so we get only the best view of---cows? We are venturing into the unknown, people! I have no idea what lies between here and the border. We leave tomorrow (Tuesday) at 8:45pm and will get to Igauzu at 12:40 pm. And does it have to go unsaid that we booked a private room this time? Haha. I like to think of myself as adventerous in spurts...Once we get there we plan on just relaxing and maybe swimming. Its supposed to be 83 degrees! And then the next day we will hike. (PS: I cant find the apostrophe key on this keyboard so just insert them in in your mind.)

Anyway, we have a story to tell you, which leads us to the title of this post: (Almost) Mugging by Mustard. So after buying our bus tickets at Retiro, we jumped on the subway to head back to our hostel. We were just walking along, about ready to exit the subway and go up ground when I felt something wet splash on me legs. I didnt really think anything of it, thinking that maybe dripping had water had landed on me (as it randomly does from buildings here). As we kept walking, however, a woman came up behind Tyler and me and pointed out that we had gotten stuff all over our backs. I looked at Tylers back and saw yellow stuff had been squirted all over his back and down the back of his pants. He then looked at my back, and it was the same. We were SO confused about what happened. We looked around for something that might have sprayed us. Was there something in the walls? Did we step on a packet of something? Whatever it was, it smelled awful. The woman handed us a kleenex from her purse to to help us clean stuff off, and I started to wipe off some of Tylers stuff. We kept walking, thinking that whatever it was we could just clean it off at the hostel. We were still super confused, and it even worried me that it was going to be some acid, skin eating substance and we were going to die a long, painful death in the messy hostel room among four other foreigners. As we were getting ready to leave the subway again, the woman was still there and told us that she knew where water was. We kept walking (still in the direction we needed to go) and around the corner was this kid washing his head under a water spout. He washed his head and then ran away. We got some water and then realized it was just smearing the substance. By this time the lady had also walked away. As we turned to go, Tyler got hit by the substance again on his back. That same kid had walked by. We left the subway and Tyler said, I think we just almost got robbed. I gulped. I hadnt even thought of that, but he said he had had a really uneasy feeling, and made sure to keep his bag close to him. I, of course, was oblivious and was thanking the kind woman profusely for helping and had even asked here if she lived in Buenos Aires. We decided to google the situation (a long shot) when we got to the hostel to see if this kind of thing happened before. It was just still so strange! So we did google it, and this is what we found. The first website that came up was called Gringos in Buenos Aires (or white people, essentially). The post was entitled: How Not to get Robbed in Buenos Aires. The first section was the following. And it was eerie.

The squirt

The squirt is really just pick pocketing with a specific misdirection technique, but it’s become so common that we will give it a section all of its own.

The squirt usually works like this: a perp comes up to the victim and spills or squirts something onto their clothes, often onto their back where they won’t notice it right away. If the perp is being observed, they’ll make it look like an accident. The substance is usually food: mustard; chocolate milk, tomato sauce or something similar. This is the first step.

Next either the same perp or their accomplice approaches the victim, if necessary points out the stain, and offers to help clean it off, maybe in a nearby bathroom. The victim is highly distracted by the unexpected mess on their clothes, and by the process of trying to get cleaned up, making it very easy for the perp to pick pocket the victim while they’re doing so.

How not to fall victim to the squirt:

If you’re out in public at a tourist spot and you suddenly find that something has been spilled on you, remember that it probably wasn’t an accident. Forget about trying to get it cleaned up right away. Keep your hand on your wallet, get out of the area fast, and definitely don’t accept help from any strangers. Also, be wary of anyone doing a bad impersonation of a tourist, as often the perp in this type of scam will pretend to be one in order to deflect suspicion.

 It was our story! And they almost had us. After reading this we went through our bag just in case, but everything was there. We had just been mugged by mustard. And we felt violated. 

The next morning we spent a good hour getting the stains out of our clothes. But hey! What would a trip to Buenos Aires be if someone didnt try to rob you, right??

In other news, we spent the day skipping around downtown with our little map. This time, however, we left our nice bag in the hostel and just brought my old cloth purse. Tyler even left his sunglasses for fear they would make him too tourist like. But we saw some of the national monuments and old churches, and then at 3pm we met up with a girl from Pacheco, Lorena Paez, who stayed with us until about 9pm. We also went and got pizza and Tyler was in HEAVEN. He was a good sport today as Lorena and I spoke Spanish all afternoon. He would pipe in with the occasional word (PIZZA) or IM HUNGRY. I was very proud of him when he took five minutes to learn how to say the street RIVADAVIA and then went and asked an old man where the street was in Spanish.

Well, I think I just wrote a novel and Im probably making someone mad by taking up too much computer time (theres only two computers for the whole floor). So I will end it here. Im not sure when well be on the internet again. Maybe tomorrow before we head to Iguazu. If not, we will use the internet in Igauzu once we get there.

As always, we love you all and miss you! And we love Argentine pizza too.

Jess and Ty