Harry Potter Sucks!

ATTENTION: Before reading this entry, I must tell you that it is merely a tactic to get Jenna to comment on my blog. I do not actually believe whatever I am about to write. I merely want to instill blind rage in the little heart of (bow) Jenna. This is for you Fudd.

Harry Potter sucks, to put it bluntly. How can any mature and normal human being take him seriously, or even lightly? How can anyone "take him" at all? First of all, Harry is such a disgusting mental picture of a name. When I hear it I picture the old harry man in the speedo I once saw swimming in a hotel swimming pool. Potter comes across as slang for someone who smokes weed. So even in simply saying the name, I get bad vibes. Very bad vibes. And then there's all that stuff about scorcery, witchcraft, and wizards. Is it not obvious to anyone else that this is only Satan's tool to get inside the home of every person on the earth? Well, if it has not occured to you yet, then it's probably too late for you. Your soul has been possessed by the devil. Too bad. I think that the books are blatant evil and should be banned and burned. I suggest organizing a burning party in my backyard. We can roast marshmellows afterwards. Who's with me? All evilness and anti-Christian views aside, I find the Harry Potter books to be mere child books, unfit for even the stupidist three year old. I would prefer my little brother read something a little more sophisticated and mind-enhancing: "Green Eggs and Ham." Yes. That is better. I think that anyone over the age of eight who reads Harry Potter should be forced to wear diapers. It's that immature. Seriously. Like, HELLO! Where's, like, your Archie Comics or something? At least you would learn about relationships with the love triangle of Betty, Veronica and Archie. Does Harry have a girlfriend? Well, if you count Harmimi or whatever the heck that spastic girl's name is, than you might as well count the fingers on you hand after you got them cut off. Yeah. I like my analogy too. The book is simply useless, and in one word, GARBAGE. And I don't even like to take the garbage out because it stinks! I make someone else take the garbage out. That's how bad I hate garbage. Harry is no different. Take it out of our schools and put it where it belongs: Through a paper shredder and into the center of the earth where it can be disintegrated and lost forever. FORRRRRREVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRRR. Yeah that's right.

In summary, Harry Potter sucks. It's that plain simple. Now Jenna must defend her position or let the world turn its backs on the young Wizard (for all who read my blog mold their lives in the patterns that I have set before me.)