Let's talk about my brother

I have a sudden urge to talk about my younger, bigger brother, Gage. If you are a regular reader of this blog, then you have read about him before. The pictures below in previous blog entries are of him in all his glory. He is - - - - Gage. And I feel the need to discuss him, because, well, he is one of a kind. Allow me to elaborate.

I came home today and Gage was where I had left him hours before - playing a game where worms rule the world and are trying to kill off other worms with names such as Prince Andrew and Prince Charles. The worms talk in these really high-pitched voices as they blow up each other. But at this time as Gage was playing it, there was another overlapping melody floating throughout the room. Enya. Who in their right mind plays mass murdering worms and listens to Enya while he does it? Well, my brother does.

We should discuss he obesession with ranch dressing. He drowns the following in it: Hamburgers, hotdogs, spaghetti, lasagna, eggs, ham, tacos, chili, french fries/tator tots/spuds/breadsticks, pizza, meatloaf, etc. etc. etc. To be blunt, it's disgusting. Because of his keen taste for the salad condiment, I detest ranch dressing. It grosses me out, especially our own bottles at home - they're grease-soaked and slimey. They make me want to barf.

Along with his ranch habit, Gage has a very unique diet. Well, I suppose it is not unlike many gross teenage boys. Here is an example menu from a regular day. Remember: All of this food does go inside his stomach.
Breakfast: A huge bowl of Reces Peanutbutter Cup cereal
Snack: A couple of cookies or a Little Debbie thing
Lunch: Three hotdogs, a can of Fred Meyer Chili, and two pieces of white bread and a Reces Peanut Butter Cup pack for dessert
Snack: A piece of pizza
Dinner: Usually whatever we are having, but just to his own taste
Dessert: Cake and Ice-Cream

Here is what he won't eat: Lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, soup, apples, oranges, bananas, pineapple, oatmeal, green beans, pickles, mustard, BBQ sauce, cream cheese, salsa...okay, okay, so the list can go on forever. Basically I never see him eat a fruit or a veggie. It's always carbs carbs carbs - plain and dry.

Ok, so you see from just this slight window that he is a little different...I could go on forever about my younger brother who is well over 200 lbs and is 6'4". My younger brother who shaves his own head and who prides himself at being the best Halo player in Roseburg. My little brother who I love to death - Gage.