Here are some random questions that have ran through my mind lately:
1. Why do old people always just walk around the locker room at the YMCA butt naked? It always seems to be the older ones. I think people should shower, wrap a towel around themselves, go to their place of dressing, and get dressed. There is no reason for walking around aimlessly without ANYTHING on. The other morning I went into the Y and went in the ladies lockeroom. I was going to use the scale. Immediately upon entering, I was flashed time and time again. I did a 180 and headed back out the door trying to clear from my mind the scene that had just flashed before my eyes. Old people...Why do they like to be naked?
2. Zits. Who are they? What is their purpose in life? They have many names: Zit. Acne. Pimple. Volcano. They have many faces. But does anyone really know WHAT they are? They come in the darkness of the night. They find sick pleasure in making other people's lives miserable. They live: They are born. They grow. They eat. They explode. And they die. Forget cancer. Find a cure for zits!
3. Why does my brother's girlfriends all call him GAGEY...
4. Why does my little brother have an obsession with girls' bellies? He always asks to see mine...
5. How does Sam Goody get away with charging so much more for a CD than Fred Meyer or Wal-Mart and still make a profit?
6. Who invented nail polish?
7. Why can't the world just get along and paint flowers and rainbows together and sing sweet melodies and never go hungry?
8. Why the freak are gas prices so high?
9. Who makes a cuss word a cuss word?
10. If people who live in Oregon are called Oregonians, what are people called who live in: Wisconsin, Vermont, Maine, Montana, Idaho, Tennessee, etc.?
11. What would it be like to not have a thumb?
12. Is Laguna Beach real or staged?
13. Whatever happend to the Doogie Howser in that show about him?
14. How does Sydney Bristow escape every possible life-threatening situation?
15. Why when you are awake for twelve hours during the day you have to eat a lot, but when you sleep for 12 hours, you don't?
16. Why am I typing this post at 12:14 AM?
17. Why do stupid people go to Wal-Mart?
18. What IS water?
19. Where did Hootie and the Blowfish go?
20. Whatever happened to Amelia Erhart?
21. Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
22. Does anyone know the way to Atlantis?
23. What is the appeal of Johnny Depp?
24. Why am I finally getting tired?
25. Was Shakespeare really gay? Bisexual?
26. Why am I still writing on this blog?
27. Why did N'Sync break up?
28. What REALLY caused the Brad and Jennifer break-up?
29. Do you want me to end this nonsensical blog?
30. Okay I'll end it. But why did I stop at 30? What is the significance of this number subconsciously?
3 comments:
1. I have seen many naked women in the YMCA lockeroom as well. However, the ones I have seen have all been between the ages of 30-50. It is somewhat disturbing. I agree with you: shower, towel, clothes.
4. I had a little girl ask me yesterday at church why I have boobs. It was funny. I giggled and said, "Because I'm old." She responded with something like, "But you don't have any kids, yet you look like a mother." Heehee. I think Bryce (sp?) has asked to see my belly before, too.
10. Tenneseeans, I believe. That's the only one I know. I would assume "Vermonters."
19. I still have a Hootie and the Blowfish CD. I've never listened to it. It belonged to Lucinda.
25. I think the theory is bisexual.
29. No. I really enjoy your blog.
Someday We'll know, why samson loved delilah, one day I'll go, dancing on the moon. Lol. Good song, good post. I've often wondered many of the same questions.
I have answers to all those. Here we go.
#1) The YMCA pays old people to walk around the locker room naked so that people like you will feel better about themselves.
#2) I agree. I'm selling silicon bracelets that say "Cure Zits" for $1. All proceeds go to look for the cure. Visit www.zits.com
#3) Hate to answer a question with a question but why to the fellas call him Gagey Wagey?
#4) Are you sure he doesn't work for the FBI? (Female Belly Investigators)
#5) Sam Goody charges more for their CDs and still make a profit because each CD comes with 6 oz of cocaine.
#6) Nail Polish as we know it today was invented about 5000 years ago by the Chinese with the favored colors being red and black. (True story)
#7) Because Marilyn Manson won't let us. (Also true story)
#8) Gas prices are rising so that when they finally invent the milk-powered car fuel will seem relatively cheap.
#9) Arleigh Simmons in Encampment, Wyoming. Give him a call (307) 327-5985
#10) Wisconsin = Wisconsinites, Vermont = Vermonters, Maine = Mainers, Montana = Montanans, Tennessee = Tennesians, Idaho = Mormons.
#11) IthoughtIwouldfindoutsoItypedthisanswerwithoutusingmythumbs.
#12)Fake
#13) Doogie Howser probably became a hospital administrator and who wants to watch a show about that. Hopefully he nailed his window shut so that Italian kid would quit crawling through it all the time. Actually.... I hope he isn't still living with his parents anymore.
#14) See Answer #12
#15) I actually eat more while I sleep. My sheets smell funny.
#16) Because 12:13 AM would have been too early.
#17) It's not that stupid people keep going to Wal-Mart. It's just that once they go they are typically to stupid to find their way out.
#18) Water = Kool Aid - Flavor - Sugar - The Color Red.
#19) I don't know where Hootie and the Blowfish went but I'm glad it's far enough away that I can't hear their music anymore.
#20) Amelia Erhart crashed into the orange jello fields of the Bermuda Triangle. Appreciate the question.
#21) Yes, he cried, "Oh Crap!"
#22) Left
#23) Jess, some questions just don't have answers. This is one of those.
#24) For the same reason that P Diddy dropped the "P" and is now just Diddy.
#25) Shakespeare was actually asexual and reproduced by binary fission.
#26) Why am I still reading your blog?
#27) What? N'Sync broke up?!? JUSTIN! LANCE! Say it isn't so!
#28) Brad and Jennifer broke up over Jennifer's affair with comic, Drew Carey.
#29) 122. (It's a nonsensical question for a nonsensical question.)
#30) I'm glad you asked. Perhaps no single number more fully embodies the essence of the rhythmic fluctuations which characterize human affairs than that of the number 30. Its significance to the realms of finance, economics, physics, mathematics, astronomy, and religion is integral to a full comprehension of each field, and almost mystical in its import.
-Jason
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