I am an Oregonian

Today begins the 7 day countdown until I am once again reunited with my beloved motherland -- Oregon. It is lean, it is green, but it is NOT mean -- it's about love and peace, hold the side of war. It's known for its hippies, for its marijuana, for its clean air, rain, and overall amazingness. For those of you who have never been there, my heart aches for you (as it beats to the drums of Bob Marley). Don't waste any more time. Get on your Birkenstocks, mid-calf socks, and cargo shorts, and go now. To help you understand me and my quirks better, as well as my love for Oregon and why I say you must go now, allow me to elaborate on the characteristics of a typical Oregonian.

•  You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
•  You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
•  You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
•  You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.
•  You consider swimming an indoor sport.
• You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
•  You have no concept of humidity without precipitation
•  You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
•  You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
• You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
• You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California
• You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
• "Vacation" means going to Portland for the weekend.
• Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.
• You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.
• You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.
• A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
• You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
• Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.
• You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly. 
• You know a bride & groom that registered at REI. 
• You'd be pissed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water. 
• Every day is casual Friday. 
• You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.
• You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.
• You love The Shins...because they live here.
• You love the Decemberists....because they are from here...and live here.
• You are the only person in the line at the grocery store who asks for paper, not plastic (because while paper "kills trees" it is recyclable, and plastic bags will sit in our landfills for the next millennium).
• You understand the joys of spandex as a layer under pants
• You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.
• You say "pop" instead of "soda."
• You know you're from Oregon when people call you a hippy and you just smile b/c you can't hear them over the grape-nuts.
• You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal.
  
  The state motto is "Oregon: We Love Dreamers." I am an Oregonian and I am dreaming of rain and hippies. One week!