I am so ready to just plug in the hair cutters that we use on my brother and shave my hair off. I'm really just sick of hair. Really, I am. This is why:
Thursday night I used a blow dryer for the first time in two weeks. I decided I would wear my hair down for a change. So I set about this difficult task at 11:00 p.m. I took a shower, used my straightening shampoo. Rinsed. Used my straightening conditioner. Left it on for five minutes. Rinsed. And then I put in a straightening serum that I left in. I got out of the shower and plugged in my new hair straightener and my hair dryer. I then got a magazine, sat on the floor with my hairbrush, and proceeded to blow dry my hair in the still steamy bathroom. Fifteen minutes into the drying process, I was sweating. Enclosed in the small bathroom, I was dying. It was 100 degrees. I'm not kidding. I had to turn off the hair dryer before I passed out. As soon as I opened the bathroom door I was greeted by a burst of cool hair, and it was as good of a feeling as when you have to pee really bad and finally get to go. It was freeing. Well, I couldn't go back in that bathroom, at least not until the sweat had dried. So I went into the living room and laid down on the couch, my hair half-dried and a fro. Finally my body temperature stabalized and I was able to restart the long process. Eventually I did get my furry head dry (after a total time of 30 minutes). I then got out another kind of straightening serum and poured it into my hand. I don't know why they call it serum. It's oil, okay. PUre and simple. My hair is as dry as NHS Inductions. So while most people work to reduce the oil content of the hair, I work to build mine up. After thoroughly plastering my hair with oil, I straightened it with my ultra-hot iron, section by section. I then plastered more oil in it, brushed it out, and was done. In the process of all this, I had set my iron down on the bathroom floor, unaware that linolium melted. Yes, the bathroom floor of our RENTAL now had brown streaks and holes from me. Mom says it will come out of our deposit. I am so dead. Anyway, my hair was finally complete---for the night. After 45 minutes, it was SEMI-straight. Now I had to sleep on it. THe next morning I had straighten it again, section by section, and add more grimy oil. Actually, I added quite a bit. Then, and only then, was I ready to go to school. It's now Saturday and I have yet to wash it again. I'm thinking I can pull it off for tomorrow at church again. I'm too worn out from Thursday night to want to repeat the process. And if I don't do the process, I slap some gel in my hair and squirt some hairspray in it and let it slightly frizz. Other than the frizz, it only looks hard. So the only time I have "SOFT HAIR" is when I do kill myself late at night. The torture. The agony. The pain.
So you see, this is why I have the urge to just bic it. I saw a picture in the recent US Weekly magazine of Natalie Portman. She shaved her head and she looks good. Of course, I'm not a movie star. But hey! You never know. One day....one day....Anyone out there want to join me in shaving their head too? Or maybe you know someone with cancer who I can support? Just a thought.
1 comment:
I feel obliged to comment on this post. :) I don't know if you will ever read this comment since I think it's quite an old post. I have always dreamed of shaving my head. If you choose to do it I will stand beside you. Don't know if I could do it also, I think my hair would grow back thicker.
I just want you to know that there is someone out there who has it WAY worse than you. Have you seen my hair? yes.
It's pretty much a horror story. A psychotic mess. I have so much hair that I laugh when I see a volumizing shampoo. Frizzy is a nice term for the bomb on the back of my head. I can't sit in front of someone w/out them commenting on their lack of visiblity because of my poof. Do you know those pantene pro-v commercials with the lady who has "burnt and dry" hair? That is what my hair looks like every single day.
Don't try to give me tips. It won't work. And I wish I could just wake up and blow dry away, but I shall never be able to. One day someone will invent something that actually controls my little buddy, but until that day. I'm stuck w/ him. It's definitely a him. I think one day, in the distant future, I will be happy w/ my hair, but until that day I will curse it's very being.
This is a useless comment, and very lengthy, but I felt compelled to complain since I am not permitted to have a blog of my own to do it on. I apologize. Thank you Jessi-caca for posting about hair. To complain about mine has brought me more pleasure than you can imagine.
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